Exactly why we don't like Twilight !!!!http://images.google.gr/imgres?imgurl=http://www.deviantart.com/download/106204516/Xmas_Twilight_by_meppol.jpg&imgrefurl=http://meppol.deviantart.com/art/Xmas-Twilight-106204516&usg=__nHqbvUaSm4LdMzLJgxqW7QPhXsE=&h=778&w=558&sz=206&hl=el&start=7&um=1&tbnid=xvhVAoZltIKgHM:&tbnh=142&tbnw=102&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtwilight%2Bxmas%26hl%3Del%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1I'm so tired of seeing posts by Twitards trying to defend the idiocy of the Twilight saga. Anytime you find a review, or a piece of art or commentary that is negative on the books or movies, you are guaranteed to find some die-hard fans attempting to defend it. “That's how it is in the books!” “You just don't understand relationships!” Most of their defenses fall extremely flat.
Now as a disclaimer, I have not read, nor ever plan on reading the Twilight books. I have heard far more than enough from people who have, and I have no interest whatsoever in hurting my brain that way. I understand that most of the readers of the series are young teenage girls who don't really know any better, but even their naivity is starting to get on my nerves.
So to start off, I will quote something that one of the bestselling authors of the modern age said about Stephenie Meyer's writing. “The real difference [between J.K. Rowling and Meyer] is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer, and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good.” To which several extremely ingenuous fans replied that “hes jelous” because Stephenie Meyer has had her books made into films, and could Stephen King say that? Well, as a matter of fact, yes he can. Stephen King has had dozens of his books made into films; The Mist, It, The Shining, Cujo, Carrie, The Dead Zone, Firestarter, Pet Semetary, the Academy Award winning Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, and the Secret Window (just to name a few) have all been made into films based off of Mr. King's books. Stephen King has made bestseller list more times that Meyer could ever even dream of.
While I don't understand the insane popularity of the saga, Stephen King does point out that he can see the appeal of the Twilight novels. “eople are attracted by the stories, by the pace and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it's very clear that she's writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It's exciting and it's thrilling and it's not particularly threatening because it's not overtly sexual.” While this is true of at least the first two or three books, the fourth one opens up a whole new set of doors, that are neither safe nor very appealing. But I'll get to Breaking Dawn later.
So let me start with Twilight, which will lay out the basics of why the entire saga is a bad piece of writing. We are introduced to the main character Bella, the narrator of the story, as she is moving to Forks, Washington. We never get any kind of a glimmer of personality from her. Her only notable trait is that she is clumsy, which is a cliché by itself, but she is so unbelievably clumsy that it's more of a fault than a flaw. And other than that, she has nothing else. She is described as a plain looking girl (which is the first signal of a Mary Sue – a fan fiction, no-no) with brown hair and other small details that make her sound like a 17-year-old version of Meyer herself (gee, another sign of a Mary Sue, how interesting!).
Anyways, she moves to Forks, where she is instantly popular with all the kids at school. FYI in a small town like Forks, no one would welcome a new girl that fast unless they were extremely excepting over everyone, and people like that are very rare. Anyways, that's a minor detail. She moves to Forks, she becomes popular, and she meets Edward, whom at the time she doesn't know is a vampire. She is instantly smitten with his pale cold skin and topaz eyes, but apparenly he can't stand her yummy scent and attempts acting like a jerk and/or disappearing for a week. A whole week! Bella is so confuzzled, why is he being so mean?
But then Edward comes back. Now Edward is a character who also has no personality. He is a self-loathing creepy stalker who sparkles in the sunlight, with no reason for interest in Bella other than her appetizing blood. But somehow, after Bella miraculously (with her empty brain) figures out that Edward is a vampire, they start a relationship. I deeply shallow relationship, based on nothing other than physical appearance and the fact that Edward hasn't killed Bella yet.
I said creepy stalker about Edward, yes, because he is a creepy stalker. Twilight fans, tell me truthfully, wouldn't you find it creepy if a guy was following you around, and then you later discovered that he was sneaking into your room at night to watch you sleep? I know I would! If you don't find that creepy and disturbing, you need some help. Seriously.
Now, there's another problem with Edward, and all the other vampires in this series. THEY ARE NOT VAMPIRES! Let me repeat that: THEY ARE NOT VAMPIRES! Anyone who knows anything about real vampires would know that. Allow me to outline some of the most well known vampire lore.
Vampires are bloodthirsty creatures. They have fangs for canines, which allows them to pierce the skin of their victim and gain access to their blood. Edward and the other Twilight vampires have no such fangs, so even if Edward suddenly could no longer withstand the urge to bite Bella's neck...he wouldn't be able to. Not easily at least.
Vampires' skin burns in the sunlight. It burns. It hurts a lot! That's why vampires can't go out in the day. They would literally roast in a matter of minutes. They would not sparkle. That, my friends, it probably one of the dumbest, wussiest, and worst of the changes Meyer made to vampire lore. Vampires that sparkle. How originally stupid. It makes the vampires sound more like confused fairies.
Vampires are violently allergic to garlic. That's why they stay away from it. I don't know if the Twilight vampires are the same way, but something tells me they aren't.
Vampires are killed with a stake to the heart. Can the Twilight vamps? Probably not.
Some fan would probably argue that those are all cliches. No, they aren't. There is a difference between cliches and the very base things that make up a vampire. Stephenie Meyer ignored those very base things, so again I will say, in case you didn't get it the first few times: THE TWILIGHT VAMPIRES ARE NOT VAMPIRES. They are but some other strange creatures. That sparkle. Allow me to roll my eyes.
Now there is one thing that Meyer's vampires have that is rather interesting: each vampire has their own unique gift. Edward can read people's minds. Alice can see the future. It's actually a neat idea. But these are never utilized in an useful or interesting way. It would have added so much to Edward's personality if Stephenie had decided to make him a sneaky butthead who uses his gift for selfish means. Seriously, that there sounds much more engaging, doesn't it?
But enough of that. There is not much of a plot to the first book. There's a rival vampire at the end who creates a little ruckus, but so little of the book focuses on that that it really doesn't do much for the books. The remaining huge chunk of pages is dedicated to Edward and Bella staring at each other. Good relationship they've got there.
Moving on to book two, New Moon. This one highlights how much of a manipulative, shallow, selfish, pathetic whore of a girl Bella really is. The book starts of on Bella's 18th birthday, which makes her a year older than Edward, even though technically speaking Edward is more than a hundred years old. Make sense at all? Yeah, it doesn't to me either.
Anyways, Edward holds a small Birthday party for Bella, during which Bella slices her finger open on the wrapping paper, and a fellow vampire suddenly goes berserk for her blood. So Edward, brilliant man that he is, decides that Bella isn't safe with him around and decides to leave.
This sends Bella into the saddest, most pathetic depression I've ever heard of. It lasts her 298 pages of the books. 298 pages!! Is Bella needy much? Indeed she is!
Meanwhile her good friend Jacob tries to cheer her up, and that's when the manipulative bitch comes to play. Jacob is in love with Bella. But Bella is still in love with Edward. Yet at the same time, Bella is teasing Jacob, giving him the faintest scrap of hope that maybe, just maybe, she would dump Edward and go for Jacob. But she still keeps whining and complaining about how much she misses Edward. Dumb little whore. I don't even get why Jacob loves Edward. As I pointed out before, she has the personality of a brick, she's supposedly very plain looking, and she's horrible to Jacob! Why why why why does he love her?
Then Bella starts having hallucinations of Edward whenever she gets her adrenline pumping. This only panders to her clingy need for Edward, and so what does she do? She becomes a crazy suicidal twerp so that she can see Edward some more...even though he's not really there. She jumps off a cliff, crashes a motorcycle...just to see a hallucination. You know, most normal people get worried when they start seeing hallucinations, they don't start trying to provoke them more. Again, Bella needs to get some serious psychiatric help.
Oh yeah, and Jacob turns out to be a werewolf. Oh sorry, shape-shifter.
But I digress. After Bella jumps off the cliff, Edward, who is now in Italy, hears that Bella is dead. So distraught with grief, he decides to off himself. But he doesn't even have the guts to do it himself, so he plans on pissing off this elite group of vampires called the Volturi so that they will kill him. He plan to do that? He's going to go nude out into the public at noon. He believes that his sparkling, dazzling skin will reveal the existence of vampires to the world. As if that's the first thing that people will think when they see a sparkly naked guy. They won't think “gee, that weirdo's got a lot of body glitter on” or “I wonder what cause that demonstrator is for” or “let's go give that street performer some money!” Nope, the public's first thought would be: vampire. Suuuure it would.
Alice rushes back to Forks to get Bella and bring her all the way back to Italy to stop Edward from revealing himself and pissing off the Volturi, which she does, but there's still a little drama involving the Volturi before they get to go home. The end.
So to sum up, book two involved a lot of moping, moaning, depression , idiotic ideas, and not much plot. Again.
Now, I'm gonna skip over the third book, because as far as I know, it just involves Bell attempting to seduce Edward and convince him to turn in her into a vampire, and generally being a pain in the neck ( LOL) for most of the book. Ish. On to the awefulness of Breaking Dawn.
Bella and Edward are getting married! Aww, i'n't that sweet!
Oh sure, until the wedding night, when Edward finally has sex with Bella (breaking several of her bones by the way, does that sound like safe sex to you?) and gets her pregnant even though that not physically possible. Edward is supposed to be a vampire and therefore undead, so his little swimmers are dead too. Of course, as I said before, the Twilight vampires aren't really vampires, so maybe in Meyer's world the swimmers of a dead guy are still fully active and can impregnate a woman with a Hell-child.
Bella's pregnancy develops swiftly and painfully. And when she finally goes into the labor and gives birth to her baby, her spines snaps because the baby is so difficult to get out. Dying, Edward does the only thing he can think of: turn her into a vampire. He should have done that BEFORE they had the sex, so that Bella wouldn't have had to go through all the pain and suffering and difficulties of giving birth to a Hell-child. But he just isn't that smart.
And then Jacob “imprints” on the baby, which means that the baby is contemned to be Jacob's true love from birth, she will be raised around Jacob, and she is supposed to be his soulmate. That makes Jacob both a pedophile and an incestuous sicko. Nice.
Anyways, then Meyer tries to create some kind of convulted plot involving a vampire mistaking Bella baby for an immortal child, which is forbidden by the Volturi, and there's some big to-do about it, but then it s ascertained that the baby really isn't an immortal child, just a Hell-child. And the vampire who mistakenly accuses the child is killed for her blunder. Again, nice. This is a pleasant group isn't it? Very forgiving they are.
So, to sum up, Bella is a stone who is needy, clingy, dependent, manipulative, airheaded, and stupid, in love with a sparkly vampire who is just a hair's breadth away from biting her neck, and just slightly more personality (I said slightly). He leaves her for a little while, she falls into a deep depression, and only her friend, a pedophile werewolf whose also in love with her, gets her through it.. Bella and the vampire get married, she get's pregnant, almost dies from the pregnancy, becomes a vampire, the end. This is the “lot” of all four books. All FOUR BOOKS.
There are no plots, no good characters, no logic, no real true love, and no vampires. This series is not literature, and Stephenie Meyer cannot write “worth a darn.”
And you wanna know what her defense to the criticism is? She argues that the books center around Bella's choice, and that her damsel in distress persona is due only to her humanity. It sounds like a pile of BS to me, and it's not a good argument at all. It doesn't even make sense! Stephenie Meyer has no originality, no sense of real relationships. I think my favorite description of her was “a sexually-frustrated weirdo.” Her books are the work of a fifteen year old fan fiction writer.
I know I didn't talk about the movies, but they are cheesy and stupid and follow the books way to closely to make them any better than the Meyer's writing. And that's all I'm gonna say about them.
Παρ 17 Μαρ 2023 - 15:11 από Marzaki Cullen
Ημερολόγιο
Θέμα: Απ: Ασχετα/Σχετικα με Twilight 
Χίλια συγγνώμη!! 
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